Return

The seasoned mothers told me that he would go but that he would come back. I wasn’t so sure. We’ve never done this part of parenting before. Our first-born had taken off across the ocean on a one way ticket and I was surrendered and heart-broken about it. Proud too – they are supposed to leave and he was doing just that.

Mercifully, they were right. Nine months later we have discovered that his homing device is working perfectly.

We had told him we would pay for a twenty-first birthday experience rather than getting him a present. I was imagining he might do something unusual like go swimming with whales or for a ride in a hot air balloon; and then he booked a flight home. He did book an economical ticket, and spent seventeen hours in Nairobi Airport because of it, so I’m not sure if that counts, but his final destination couldn’t be more familiar.

That he would call home a present, or an experience, has been like a soothing balm on the wound that waving a child goodbye leaves.

His home-coming was a surprise for many, and tears have flowed freely. I cried for myself and for each cocky family member who found them self completely undone at, unexpectedly, being in the same room as him. One quick-witted child said his brain buzzed as he struggled to compute.

The older brother reached up to hug the younger brother. How did that happen? People grow and change; moulded by the challenges, hard knocks and joys of life. The sweetness of discovering the new dimensions to this lad is the gift of this moment in time; still very much himself but with wisdom, sobriety, humour and a self-confidence that I haven’t seen up till now.

I tell this story because all I have to tell are my stories, but I hope it touches a cord in anyone who has wondered if they can hope for something. In that moment when you prize your hand open through sheer will power, and let your most valuable gift go, just maybe a seed has been sown. Just maybe what is so painful is also so necessary. Unknown mysteries can unfold for more homecomings and reconnections and treasures discovered than ever would be known if the moments of hard obedience and surrender had not been allowed.

I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. – Isaiah 45 v 3