Have you ever felt that you are being held captive? Perhaps you are as free as birds to anyone who might be looking from the outside, but in your heart you are aware that on some level you are bound, caught, en-caged, unable to soar like you think you should be.
In our fostering situation, I have been feeling like I am standing behind with my arms wrapped around my child’s chest. My child’s arms comfortably hanging over mine, little hands clasped over my clasp. Every now and then when we are in conversation with the necessary parties about this Little One’s future, it feels like someone is holding onto the precious feet I love and pulling for the mere sake of it. It is always a cruel jolt and my motherly instincts go into overdrive. Instinctively, we move with the pull because no human being should be ripped apart no matter how much we want to yank away and get us all to a safe place. To resist would mean a tug-of-war battle and that would be beneath us as we fight a battle where only Love can win the day. We move towards the pull, we question, we behave bravely even though we feel scared, we try to understand, and every time we do, the wrestle subsides. There is peace for a time but we do not feel free. Imagine my delight when early yesterday morning I read these words:
Jeremiah 50 v 33 & 34: “All their captors hold them fast, refusing to let them go. Yet their Redeemer is strong; the Lord Almighty is his name. He will vigorously defend their cause so that he may bring rest to their land.”
We are not the only ones who have ever been held fast and you are not either. There is a Redeemer called the Lord Almighty and He is strong. He will VIGOROUSLY defend your cause and where you have been in a war, you will be at rest. Blissful rest where there is peace and freedom. Oh, how I cling to these words more than I cling to my child, my control, my timing and my insistence for victory to look like I want it to look.
Thing is, we are living in a broken world and God’s Kingdom is within us. There is always going to be a wrestle and tension in one way or another. Perhaps you feel born into a faulty pattern that has played itself out in your family for as far back as you can tell. Maybe babies died or people committed suicide or nearly every second family member gets divorced. Maybe there are addictions and dysfunctions and much as you want to live out something different and new, you open your mouth and say just the things you most despised when they came out of a relative’s mouth. You are held by the Father and He is not letting go, but the wolves are hounding and you cannot be sure when they will tug and gnaw and pull you into a place of helpless tension. Maybe you live in a country where your ideals and conscience are constantly challenged. You feel forced to live a certain way even though the very essence of you is held in a place that you know is good and true. Your feet walk on a path you would rather they didn’t even as your heart is held and your eyes keep seeking the better way. The way you are living out your days is not as you believe it should be.
I don’t know how it will happen or when. But we have a Redeemer, the Lord Almighty is his name. His arms are around us as our hands are clasped over his. He is vigorously defending our cause and no matter how much the opposition resists, He will bring us to a place of rest. It’s very important that we know Who is on our side and how He holds us. He moves wisely and mysteriously so that we are not ‘swallowed alive’ and ‘torn by their teeth.’ (Psalm 124) Let’s trust His timing and that Love will win the day.
Psalm 124 v 7 “We escaped like a bird from a hunter’s trap. The trap is broken, and we are free!”
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