Always be kinder than you feel.
I read this on the back of a friend’s loo door. What an appropriate place to hang such advice – your guests go in to do what is only done in private and come out with a gem like this to throw about in public. These are wise words that, if heeded, can change the course of history.
Be KIND and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4 v 32). It wasn’t just a sweet notion, what I read, we should be kind because God says so. When He says to do something there is no point in wasting any time trying to figure it out or trying to get out of it. Doing as He says is like playing a game by the rules: we have more fun and are less likely to get hurt when this is the case.
God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance (Romans 2 v 4). Maybe our kindnesses are the very things that rescue people from their wrongs. Kindness coming like warm light, gently exposing the filth of an unchecked life without us even having to point it out. A revolution of kindness could be just the trick to turn a nation of people from their faultiness to the One who is faultless, the One who shows us how to live. If God uses such a tool, we should take note.
The traffic in our city has made me think, on many occasions, that we need to escape to an island where bicycles are the only mode of transport. People are rude and angry on our roads, and yet all it takes is one thoughtful smile and letting an anxious driver in, to change the tone for both drivers’ days. One good turn could result in five hundred good turns as people pay it forward; what a beautiful movement to unleash. Could it really be this simple? We overcome evil with good (Romans 12 v 21), so it would seem so.
Ephesians 5 v 22 – 23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, KINDNESS, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law (Galatians 5 v 22&23). This means you are living in step with the Spirit of God and the tree of your life is producing fine fruit. It also means that, in and of ourselves, we are not capable of being kind at all times. It is easy when people have been kind to us or when we love the person we show it to. To just be kind for the sake of it, or to someone who has treated us badly, that takes roots that are sunken into the very heart of God.
Now we must be real here, when you feel like being nasty, and you just might, do as the saying goes and make sure you kill people with kindness only. Annihilate their ability to wound any further with your unexpected comeback. A kindness bestowed when an insult would have been more appropriate can cause discomfort to enemies in a way that goes deeper than a slap ever could. When the hater seems to have the upper hand, use your kindness weapon. Of course we will experience indignation, offence and hurt sometimes, but we do not need to act in the same vein. I have heard it said that hurt people hurt people. Proverbs 16 v 24 says that kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. You may well have the very words in your mouth that some wounded individual needs. Words that will remove all the bitterness and pain from their body and soul. Words that will put toxic cycles to an end.
I have reacted or retaliated too many times to count, I am so good at it! And every time I do, I end up having to apologize for something I didn’t even start in the first place. I have torn others down and toppled myself in the process. God’s spirit in us, intentionality and practise are necessary when we are faced with the option of how we will behave. Will we react or respond? When we repay with kindness, we build up not only others but ourselves too. It’s a tool, tactic and weapon of the sweetest kind whether we are the giver or receiver. Don’t delay, be kind today!
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