Press Through

A friend, in the depths of grieving, said that there is no way out of it except to go through it. It seems harsh, even brutal, and as I stood near her I caught a glimpse of the tragic, raw wound. How is it that people can go through such a thing and come out the other side alright? They say you’ll never be the same again but that time does heal. Three terrifying, shocking minutes merge into three days which glide into three weeks and then years. Time will probably fly but it’s how to get through the moments when every tick of the clock taps loudly against your fragile nerves.

It all reminded me of birth, and how that is another hard thing in life that you cannot get out of but have to go through. Some great doula advice is to ‘let go’ when the going gets tough. When labouring, it’s helpful to know that trying to keep up appearances is only going to interfere with the process. Sometimes we need to know that we do not need to hold it all together. For those of us with any heritage of the ‘stiff upper lip’, permission to howl, wail, roar, groan or vomit can be liberating and cathartic. I have seen birth transition quickly and effortlessly when women feel safe. In vulnerable times of life, privacy and special care can help us to get through as quickly as possible with minimal pain.

I so enjoy reading anything written by Shauna Niequist. Some of her favourite things to write about are food, recipes and sitting around the table and yet her works are valuable and profound and stir my heart to much higher things than what I am going to eat next. It makes me think that it’s right in the daily grind that we find the treasures that make us rich. In the happenings that affect all of humanity, like eating and drinking and living and dying, we find ourselves confronted with ourselves – limited, loved, invested in and created for so much more than what we see in the here and now. When accolades and promotions, the energy of youth and success are pushed to the side to make way for shocking reality, we discover that our greatness is actually in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12 v 9) and that in the pressing we are not crushed (2 Corinthians 4 v 8). The finest of wines are testament to that.

At times it is so hopeless, that all we have left is to hope. I see it like a smooth, silver pebble lying on the shore urging someone to pick it up and fling it across the glassy lake. As it bounces skin-deep across the water, rings appear widening and linking with one another, the surface transformed, the stillness within disturbed and awakened like Sleeping Beauty yawning when the spell was broken.

He gives us beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61 v 3). That something ravishing could grow after the fire has raged through is certainly reason to keep pressing onward, to keep pressing through.

A song in the dusk as the sun sinks low,

A dance in the night when starlight glow

Is all around and the moon is golden;

When it’s dark, to His light, we are beholden.

And onwards we go, laughing and weeping,

Each season carrying gifts not for our keeping

But giving and planting and throwing to the breeze;

We keep pressing through and it’s us that He frees.

A new day is dawning, a new life is born,

All of the critics will take back their scorn

Of your heartache, turmoil, struggle and pain;

Shoots burst through the soil, see here comes the rain.

(‘Burst Through’ by Taryn Robb)